10 Easy Steps to Finding Body Positive Confidence | how to feel confident about your looks

10 Easy Steps to Finding Body Positive Confidence

Your confidence is something that is built on many factors. Small to large interactions can shape how you feel about yourself. I have spent a large part of my life without confidence. Bullis and images of “beauty” or “health” keep me safe and powerless. I just hoped one day I would wake up and finally love myself.

But like any relationship, it is hard work. Love can be inconsistent, but it is extremely fruitful. Patience is the key. I respect my time and realize that I am just as strong when I feel bad.

I have come to learn that there are some key reasons that have helped me get where I am today. I would like to share them with you, in the hope that you, too, can find them helpful in your journey to build confidence and gain all the experiences self-love has to offer.

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1. Understand that the media is not as positive as you think

I think one of the most difficult parts of blogging in the plus-size world was realizing as a size 22 model that most models are not plus size. One is not so well known that most models pad. For those who don’t know what padding is, when a smaller size model (e.g. size 10 or 12) will place the padding under their clothes to make it look curved or thicker.

body confidence

For a long time, I believed that to be a beautiful plus-size woman, you need to be born with a slim neck, slender face, and flat stomach. Don't be fooled! The media is still pumping unrealistic body values. They have literally created another cookie-cutter standard, slightly larger. Not all women are made with an hourglass figure, and that’s okay!

2. Surround yourself with people who give birth to positivity

You will also make a huge difference in the way you view yourself and others with the people around you. I am constantly looking for positive and open minded people. I know that without the relationships I made, I wouldn't be who I am today. Support is something that everyone needs. You can get in many forms - friends, family, and even an online community You know when you find your people.

I know we’re all super at our online fix, but as I said above, finding the right presentation is key. There is a lot of room for negativity online. I urge you to follow at least three people online who leave a positive message on any topic. Realize that there are more people out there who think and feel the same way as you and are always reassuring. It will also boost your confidence.

3. Invest in yourself

It's a huge one for me. My lack of confidence did not allow me to invest the effort or time involved in the field of beauty and fashion. Once I realized what I was seeing up front and I started to surround myself with more positive people, everything changed.

Investing in yourself means freeing your mind for more positive thinking and action. You can do everything to set your mind. Stop yourself when things are rough, but don’t let those thoughts occupy the precious real estate of the mind.

Self-investment can also be a great treat for yourself. Do you want to model (or "mean") that swimsuit for a girl of different size? (Which means whatever it is, anyway!) Get it and rock it the way you want it. Make yourself a priority, and watch it pay off.

10 Easy Steps to Finding Body Positive Confidence

4. Help the haters

Using your weight as a conversation starter can make it very difficult for you to lose weight and move forward with a lot of people. Critics come in many shapes and sizes, from trolls and unsolicited “health” advice to family comments.

When a stranger belittles me, I wonder what their opinions mean to me? Where does this comment actually come from? People often insult others because they feel insecure, or they don't understand someone else's point of view. Use this knowledge to understand others and help yourself. And the old adage goes: Please kill them.

5. Put yourself out there and take risks

One of the hardest things for me was to put myself there. Without confidence, what you do seems risky. The monotony overcame the fear. I was annoyed to see the same dull results and put myself there to see what would happen.

This is especially relevant when it comes to shopping. I constantly find pieces of clothing that I am afraid of but absolutely love. If you find a piece of your choice, just don’t look at it and kiss it a sweet goodbye. Try it! You will be amazed at how well it looks when you access it with a little confidence.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others

I know how difficult this is. As human beings, we must compare ourselves with others. This is one of the biggest things that can bring you down. I know some social media can make you think of #goals, but as my dad said, "What burns is not gold."

Some media are created to show a sunny, simple life. But as you and everyone else know, this is not true. People all have their own ways and will excel at different speeds. Follow your own journey to greatness.

7. Create

Creativity arises from effort and care. And being a more creative person will give you more confidence. Being creative means using your imagination and creating real ideas. When you create your own way of doing things, there is nothing right or wrong. There is only you. No matter how you combine an outfit or how you decide to do your makeup, find a way to make it your own!

8. Perception is reality

I realized long ago that I have the ability to perceive happy situations. I also realized that when I gave my all and couldn’t do anything else to change it, I had to make peace with the situation and move on.

Thinking about past or present situations will only add stress and sadness to your life. You will become more confident the moment you realize that you have the “power of perception”, even in situations where you may feel most powerless.

9. Realize that you are your own worst critic

When you see something for a long time, you always find fault. Realize that you often look at your body in the most detail - which means you probably took the time to separate every little thing. The average pedestrian doesn’t have this time, and you probably won’t notice the little details you’re being criticized for.

It’s okay to note opportunities to improve for yourself. But don’t let yourself be so critical that you have unrealistic expectations for yourself. You will go crazy trying to live with them.

10. Count your blessings

For every part of your body that you change, find something for which you are grateful. Realize that vanity is a luxury that many people in this world cannot afford. You are as beautiful as you are beautiful. For this you have to understand that beauty is deeper than skin. Count your blessings for what you have. Don't you feel less!